I got late this morning because i expected no traffic would jam my way, but oh! there was. Plus I left home not that early, and not that late, as a result, I was damn late. Well anyway, i can take it as an opportunity, or maybe a luck, because when i came in our classroom, F300, they were already rearranging seats, so that means i will sit at the back, alone. Then, i thought everything would be fixed, but our teacher asked if we have some complains and et cetera, etc. i raised my hand, cleared my voice, ehem, then said, "excuse me ma'am, but it's really hot here."(it's not actually like that though, like what i said, of course i said it in a vernacular manner.) So, i moved my chair a little closer behind the walls, and that made my position at the center, and a position beside a not-so-close friend. She smiled at me, I smiled at her, then that was it. Again, I transferred at the back of my friend-like or FC friend. She giggled and i smiled back. The class went to its normal flow, then dismissed. I said Bye to this FC friend, she "byed" too.
You know what, i just love these people who forced me to smile at them because they made me feel that I'm not a stranger anymore, but i am their classmate, and more than that their friend. I never felt so glad within these days in my new school, every time i enter rooms for my class, i felt like i was someone, someone not me. But just this morning, i am who i am. it occurred to me how sad is it to be in crowd but still alone.
Michelle June 25, 2008 at 7:23 PM
I can totally relate to what you are saying. There are times I can be around a crowd of people and still feel very alone.